I’m a Coach and I can’t fix your problem.

Life and Business Coaches seem to be everywhere these days. In fact anyone can be a coach, there are no exams to sit, and no regulatory body.  Anyone who’s offered advice to a friend can set themselves up as a coach. A twenty three year old fresh out of Business School can say they’re a Business Mentor!

There’s a big pool of coaches out there now, so if you were curious about getting a coach, how would you choose one?

Most coaches say they’ll help fix your problem, get rid of your limiting beliefs, or give you the answer to that problem that’s going round and round your head. Some coaches even say they’ll hold you accountable.

I suggest that you find yourself a coach who has a powerful and fearless approach and recognizes that you have limitless potential to create an extraordinary life. Find yourself a coach who believes in you, even if you don’t. 

A rare coach knows that you already have the answers. A rare coach knows that you have potential and capability far beyond anything dreamt of right now.

Most coaches will give you an insight, but a great coach will enable you to have your own life-changing insights.

Most coaches will answer your questions, but a great coach will help you increase the quality of your questions.

Most coaches will be a friend, and act like your best friend would. But a great coach will be brave and keep nothing back. They’ll be brutally honest if that’s what serves you best.

Why would you want an “accountability” coach? To make sure you get the things done that will help you reach your goal?  A great coach will help you find a vision that’s so inspiring that every action step becomes a joy. You won’t need to be held accountable.

Daniel Coyle, author of The Talent Code, wrote, Seek a coach who scares you a little. Why: It’s easy to confuse pleasure and comfort with actual learning. But truly good coaches are about challenging you to get to the edge of your abilities, time and time again.  Seek out coaches who are authoritative.  Who know their stuff, and who take charge.  A little scary is good.”

You might wonder, with a good partner and supportive friends, why would you even need a coach? Your partner will encourage you and tell you you’re fantastic, but they won’t push you to find that goal that’s hidden deep within. Your best friend will be there to share a problem with, but they won’t encourage you to live that wild dream that might leave them behind. Your boss will guide you at work and even set you challenges, but they won’t ask what’s the life you really crave.

If you have a problem, go and find a coach.

If you want to be inspired, challenged, and scared a little, find a powerful and fearless coach.

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If you feel something is missing and your life isn’t exactly what you want it to be, then book a free consultation and discover how you really do get to create the life YOU want.  Click HERE.

What I learnt from my little visitors

The huge advantage of working for yourself is that you can take time off whenever you want!  That’s what I did. And I don’t apologise.

You see, my daughter and her family live in Los Angeles, so when she comes to visit with my two grand-children I drop everything; and I mean everything.  

After all when you decide to run your own show it’s because you want freedom, choice and time to spend with those you love, right?

For two weeks while Frances spent some time in London, we had the children staying here.  And what I realised was this; it was such fun to live in the present moment.

Apart from realising that we didn’t have to go on big expensive outings, or give high octane experiences, I learnt once more that the greatest pleasure can be had from the simplest of things.

Maggie loved checking on the chickens and the excitement of bringing in the freshly laid eggs each morning.  Ethan enjoyed the responsibility of letting them out and giving them water.  We enjoyed exploring in the woods, letting our imagination run wild (Harry Potter had nothing on the adventures dreamt up by these two!).  We picked fruit, visited a neighbour and stroked an emu, (yes, an emu!).  

Sure, we took in a film, visited an outdoor museum and a Tudor House and learnt heaps, and we managed to fit in 4 different playgrounds.  But there was just as much fun to be had making “fairy doors” to pin the garden and having me paint their faces. Oh and the squidgy foam soap I bought for bath-time.

If you asked them what they did the day before, they found it hard to remember the details.  If you asked them what they’d like to do tomorrow, they couldn’t say.

We all lived in the present.

There is a great quote that I love. “If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, in the future.  If you are at peace, you are living in the moment.”  

This is to say that there is no point looking back and regretting what you did or didn’t do.  It is gone, so let it go. 

None of us know what the future holds so why worry about it unnecessarily?

There is only the present, where we are right now.  This is what I learnt from my little visitors.  Live in the moment.  LIVE in the moment.  Make the most of every day.  Look for the excitement, wonder at the simple, ordinary things around you. Appreciate what you have and find pleasure in what you can do NOW. 

What a great lesson!

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HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
If you get overwhelmed, stressed or find yourself juggling too many balls at once, then I can help you.  If you feel something is missing and your life isn’t exactly what you want it to be, then book a free consultation and discover how you really do get to create the life YOU want.  Click HERE.

AND

Join my FREE Facebook group The Created Life Club.  You’ll find you’re not alone!  I’ll give you tips for getting clarity and calm, and loads of information on creating the best version of yourself and a life that’s worth the new you. Click HERE.

Not into groups? Follow me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/KarenJBurgeCoaching or Instagram at www.instagram.com/karenburge_elegantentrepreneur

 

What I’m giving up.

Calm scene with flower

May was a tricky month weatherwise. One day we were basking in a heatwave, the next my gutters were overflowing in a monsoon-like downpour. But the day came when I knew had to put away my winter clothes (though being in England I kept by a few jumpers!), and get out the lighter trousers and caftans.

 Going through the mounting pile, I felt an urge to get rid of a whole load. I’m the sort of woman who hangs on to clothes for years. Oh yes, I mean decades! But looking at some items I couldn’t bear the thought of getting them out of store in the autumn and wearing them for yet another season. I was bored. They were dragging me down.

 I’m giving up on having things in my life that drag me down.

 My energy is precious these days and I want to surround myself with people who lift me up, things that I find beautiful and experiences that enrich me.

I’m also giving up on time-wasting. My time is precious, I can never get it back and I can’t see anyone inventing a way of getting more of it! So I started to think about the things that I spent time on needlessly.

I’ve been getting very selective on the TV I’ll watch, though I must admit this one was forced on me this month while our television gave up on us and we’ve had to wait for the repairman to come knocking. I missed watching the Chelsea Flower Show and it’s been agony not being able to watch The Handmaid’s Tale (definitely not uplifting but so gripping!).

I’m trying to give up sugar. I ignore the biscuit tin in the house, even though there’s very little in it. I can now stand by a sweet counter and turn away. I treat myself to one small but very good chocolate each afternoon and I can truly savour the deliciousness instead of just popping sweets into my mouth without noticing.

But the BIG thing I’m also trying to give up is complaining. Have you tried that? It’s a difficult one!  I get annoyed by drivers speeding past me in small towns; people chatting in doorways when I’m in a hurry; companies not getting back to me; data protection systems; fruit packaged in plastic, birds pooping on my clean car….. the list goes on.   But when you switch your focus from situations that are frustrating you and stop… breathe…and smile, life becomes easier.

When you complain you’re focusing on lack and what’s not working.  You can get caught in a downward spiral of dissatisfaction making you angry and frustrated. 

When you look instead at what you do have and what’s making you feel good, your mood is instantly uplifted.  Suddenly you notice the sway of the trees, the smile from a stranger, even the song from the bird that pooped on your car!  Gratitude I’ve found is the greatest healer, mood enhancer and life improver.

 And that’s what it’s all about, wouldn’t you agree?

The secret to getting over fear.

Do you love a good roller-coaster? Why is that? I would take a guess and say it’s because when you’re waiting to set off, you feel really scared! It can be an intense fear, when emotions flood your system.

Life is often like this. We’re ready to do something brave and then the little inner voice starts talking.

“What if you hurt yourself?”

“What if everyone thinks you’re crazy?”

“What if you fail?”

Fear can hold us back and it does, time and time again. Often the fear is so great that we don’t go any further. We turn around and get on with our familiar life. It may even prevent us from EVER trying something new. And that’s a tragedy.

There’s a secret I try with my clients. It’s called reframing. And it works.

There’s a lovely saying that “Fear is the other side of Excitement”. Think again of the roller-coaster. You can reframe that fear and call it enthusiasm or excitement. We’re usually afraid of something we don’t know. So think of fear instead as “Excitement for the unknown”.

When you realise that you can choose whether to feel afraid or excited everything changes.

 Businesswoman jumping in water   . Mixed media

 Think back to when you were a child learning to swim. What if something happened, maybe a daft uncle pushed you in, or kids splashed around and you ended up gulping for air. If you felt as though you were drowning you would understandably equate learning to swim with dying. It would certainly put you off learning to swim for a long time!

We all know the fear would be irrational though. Many are. But they can still send you into a spiral of anxiety, self-doubt and negative thinking. Behaviours can then be established to overcome these feelings, such as over-eating, becoming a workaholic or an alcoholic.

 When fear takes over, it actually dictates our behaviour and actions. We make decisions based not on opportunity or potential, but on the fear that holds us back. That’s when we lose our freedom. Our freedom of choice.

Do you have old fears that still show up for you today? Are there old fears about life that hold you back, cause you to make bad decisions and impact the life you’d rather have?

 Let me know below and next week I’ll talk about how to crush that fear and build emotional resilience.

Is there a fear holding you back?  Something you think may have come from childhood, that you want to say goodbye to forever?  Book a call with me and we’ll get it sorted. Click here.

Whatever you want, you need this first.

Last week I watched a short video about a guy named Jon who, at the age of 54 and a grandfather, had the same taut, fit, physique as he did at 29. He was asked how he managed to retain such a body. Of course he mentioned the way he’d always eaten healthily and exercised, and worked 3 – 4 times a week. But then he talked about what I’ve always thought to be the most important requirement when wanting to attain anything in life – PURPOSE.

 You see, I believe it’s not HOW we do anything. We all know what we need to do to attain that goal we’re after. We probably have the dates set, the action steps worked out and the practices all lined up.

 It’s WHY.

 If you have any sort of goal, whether it’s to run a marathon, lose weight, have a better relationship, or grow a business empire, it’s the WHY that will get you there. What is your PURPOSE for doing this thing?

 For Jon it was that he wanted a great relationship with his wife and a sex life where they continued to turn each other on. He wanted to set a great example to his kids. He wanted to remain fit enough to travel to extreme places on earth.

Once you have a strong enough purpose, and you’re deeply connected to that purpose, the disciplines you put in place become a given. When you have your purpose, you have the reasons that make everything easier. It becomes easy to do what it takes and it becomes easy to avoid anything you shouldn’t be doing, or giving up.

 When I was in California last week I came across the book Achieving Vibrance by Gay Hendricks. Maybe you’ve read The Big Leap by him, and that great book prompted me to buy this one. I’m enjoying reading about the steps that I need to do each day to ensure that I’m an energetic, vibrant woman well into old age. Oh yes, I know I need to make changes!

It was when reading about simple exercises and a way of breathing that the following resonated with me.

“Living in a human bodymind is like inheriting the Taj Mahal. Maintaining it is a way of honouring the gift. I inherited the great gift of a human bodymind, as did you.

Let’s honour that blessing by opening the windows of our own private Taj Mahal each day to let the breeze blow through. Let’s commit a few minutes of our day to letting the flow of vibrance stream through us.

Enjoying the breeze and honouring the gift: until I can think of a better meaning of life, I’m going to go with that one.”  Me too.

It’s all about finding a purpose and then committing to the disciplines or habits you need to put in place. These two examples are about physical fitness but it goes for all parts of our life, and business too.

Karen on the beach

Often clients come to me to talk about their goals. The conversation usually starts with dates and numbers, such as “I want to lose ten pounds by June 1st”, or “I need to find 10 more clients in the next 3 weeks.” But the questions I like to start with, the ones that really get them thinking deeply are “how do you want to feel?” and “what’s your purpose for wanting this?”

They’re both really the same question.

When we have a goal, it’s not the goal we’re chasing. We’re chasing the feeling that we believe achieving the goal will give us. We’re chasing the purpose.

Once you know your purpose, you know how you want to feel, and it’s a deep inner knowing and certainty, then that goal is probably going to be achieved. You’re so committed that you don’t have to find reasons for doing what you need to do.

When you don’t need to find reasons for exercising, for writing, for practicing whatever you’ve decided to do, then you don’t find excuses for avoiding them either.

Being deeply connected to your purpose, makes going for your goal SO much easier.

If you’re aiming for a big prize, growing an empire or getting fit, ask yourself first, WHY am I doing this?  Once you have the answer to that, your goal is already in sight.

 

How to fund your dream life

When you have a clear vision of your dream life you can ensure that your business will fund it by getting clear, and asking one question!  
 
We’re in February already and this is a short month.  Are you progressing with the goals you had for 2018?  Let’s be honest here, we start out with all sorts of good intentions but it doesn’t take long for them to slip!
 
In the past 3 weeks I’ve given a talk at 3 networking groups and it’s gone down SO well.  It’s a talk that perfectly brings together my work as a Life Coach, and also a Business Mentor.  I gave it the title, “Creating your dream life and how to make your business fund it.”  
 
I took everyone though 4 steps, and I’ll share them here. 
 
Fund your dream life in 4 steps
 
DESIGN IT:   Decide on what you want your life to look like in the year ahead. Not your business but your life!  Be very focused; where do you want to go on holiday, how would you like to improve your home, do you desire to travel more?  You may want more time to expand your hobbies, or go to the theatre; buy a new wardrobe or eat out more. You may decide you want to work less and take every Wednesday off!  Involve those nearest to you and write out your dream list!  
 

COST IT:  Now you calculate what will this dream life cost you.  Get very specific on your figures and then add the total of the cost of living your dream to  your general budget.  You’ll need to account for taxes and expenses, and know your profit margin.  If you are able to be, do and have all you desire (and let’s be real, no gold plated yachts please!), what would it cost you?  

TRANSPOSE:   The third step is to take those cost of those dreams and see how the business can fund them. We’re really getting down to the nitty gritty. 

Let’s take an example. Caroline calculated that her dream life would cost her £200,000. Her business has a 20% profit margin so needs a million pound turnover. That seemed like an enormous sum until we started to break it down. 

Caroline knew that her average customer would spend around £6,000 per year.  This meant she’d need 166 customers to fund her dream life. The good news is, she already has 66, so she needs 100 new customers this year. Now her dream life is starting to look achievable.

 Now we come to the BIG QUESTION that moves everything forward. 

“What would need to happen in order to….?”

PLAN IT:  When Caroline has an appointment with a potential client, she knows she’ll usually win business from  She has a conversion rate of 1 in 2.  So to win 2 customers a week required 4 meetings. Because she knows her figures, she realises that she needs 8 leads a week.

 Just 8 leads a week!  Now we’re talking!

Asking the question “what would need to happen in order to…?”, now helps her decide on her course of action.  How can she generate 8 leads a week?  

 She’ll look at various marketing pillars, and consider any constraints such as time, space and staff. 
 
Every entrepreneur needs to know what the average spend of a client is and how many clients are required each month.  When you know that, you can then ask that question. 
 
Once you have your plan of action and know exactly what you want your life to look like, you no longer have just a dream but a very attainable goal. 
 
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Did that make you wonder about how you can make your business really work for you instead of you working for your business?  If so and you’re ready to uplevel your life and business you need to ask that question.  I would love to support you in achieving your dream life in 2018.
 
A twelfth of the year has passed already!  If you’re serious about moving forward and don’t want to put your dream life on hold any longer, book a Breakthrough Session with me. Email me at karen@karenjburge.com and get back on track!

My lightbulb moment on the boat to Capri

There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, the sea was a bright blue and we were on the way to Capri.  It was a relaxing holiday and at last I was getting time to think. 

I always say if you want to have fresh new ideas for your business, you need to step back and give yourself the time and space to think.  And here I was thinking about my coaching, my clients and how to formulate my message so that women like you would really “get me”.

On the boat to Capri

I’d been wondering for a while how to amalgamate the fact that I’m a great business mentor with over 26 years of experience, together with helping women realise that they could have a life, and business, that flowed easily and elegantly. 

I want to help women build a brand, and grow their business into something extraordinary, and I also want to see them have it all without stress and overwhelm.  Now I’m starting to own what I have and what I am.  People often say I’m elegant, even when I’m in jeans and T-shirt (which still makes me laugh), and I must admit, I love the finer things in life;  and I know I just love finding new ways to market and grow a business in a simple way.

Gliding towards Capri with glass of Prosecco in hand and a very handsome Italian at the tiller, the thought suddenly came to me – The Elegant Entrepreneur!

Yes! Suddenly it all fitted together, I could do both!  Why shouldn’t my clients have it all? The more I said it the better it felt, like trying on a new dress.  Here I was, an entrepreneur, really enjoying a proper break, and living the life a lot of entrepreneurs strive for.  After all, this is why I’ve always had my own business!

So here I am, and my mission is to help  established entrepreneurs who want to expand their business but are already so overwhelmed that they feel they can’t take on any more. They want the life they imagined in the first place; one of more time, more freedom, and a helluva lot more fun!

Do you know someone like this?  Is this you?  If being an Elegant Entrepreneur resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you.  If you desire success, but with ease and flow, then it probably does.  If you want a life on your terms, based on feeling free and joyous and successful, then come and join me as an Elegant Entrepreneur!  

 

 

 

 

You’re an entrepreneur? Use your lover to help your business flourish!

Ok I admit it, I’ve been a serial entrepreneur for over 30 years. What did I do? I sold children’s clothes, specialist food, cleaning services, gift wrap, journals, a night at the cinema… and so it went on. Some were successful, some not so much but I gained a LOT of experience.

 I’m still a business owner and I regularly meet other women who are running their own business. A recent meeting got me thinking about how I used to run my life around the next project or deadline. How I’d be juggling several balls in the air, and I’m sure you know what I mean if I mention the school pick-ups, catching trains, organising the cleaner, getting ready for an evening out, putting a meal on the table, as well as the nuts and bolts of launching a new business and growing it. Phew!!

 Now I use my 4 Womanly Aspects every day and life is just so much calmer! I can bring in the balance that means I no longer feel as though I’m spinning plates. I’m a balanced entrepreneur!

When you’re in business, you utilize the Boss aspect of you, but it’s easy to ignore the others. I’d like to tell you about letting your Lover into your life, so that you don’t hit burnout. After all, the Lover aspect is all about life-force and vitality and you need plenty of that!

Entrepreneur and Lover 

  1. Your Lover embodies Self-Respect. You respect yourself and your place in the world. When you allow your Lover into your life you automatically set your boundaries because you recognize that your needs are as important, if not more, than anyone else’s. You cannot give freely to others, or be a successful entrepreneur,  until your own needs are met. Instead of living your life to everyone else’s demands and plans, your Lover helps you use your feminine power by gently saying “No, I’m not able to do that right now.”
  2. Igniting your Lover means igniting your creativity. When you are working IN your business, you are rushing around, making calls, meeting people, writing copy, and all the myriad of things you need to do. You spend all your time being reactive. Allowing your Lover in means you spend time working ON your business. That means you spend time each day being creative. The Lover is about playfulness and when you ignite her, you dream up unique ways of attracting customers. You are open to inspiration from different sources. You think of beautiful ways of reaching out to people in a way that feels effortless, instead of on the rampage.
  3. When you are aligned with your Lover, you know deep down that you are enough. You’re capable enough to grow this work of yours. You are smart enough to plan strategically. You are accomplished enough to be a winner, and you also know deep down that you deserve every success. When you know that you are enough, your confidence pushes you forward with tremendous force. You make the impact you always just dreamed about.
  4. Your Lover enables you to bring pleasure into your life. We all know the saying ‘Work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”. When you slog away at your business into the early hours, work becomes a burden. When we have a heavy burden, how do we feel? We feel put-upon, we feel an expectation, we can feel as though we’re walking through treacle, and constantly under pressure; and that’s not good for any business. But let some joy into your life and you immediately feel lighter, vibrant, and open. Open to ideas, open to possibilities and open to change.

So yes, allow your Lover aspect into your life, ignite her and see what happens. By all means go and buy fresh flowers, take time out for a massage or an hour reading a great book. Take the ‘phone off the hook for an hour or make the weekends about family and friends.

 Whatever you do, ask yourself how you can bring some joy into the day. Tell yourself that you are enough, learn to say no gracefully and give yourself the gift of time to dream.

 THAT is how a business flourishes into something wonderful.

 If you would like to find out more about using your 4 Womanly Aspects in your life contact me for your complimentary Awakened Woman Assessment. Just to assure you, I never ever do hard sales on the calls (there’s plenty of it out there), I do this from a genuine desire to help and get to know you.

Book a call here.

 

3 Steps to your Dreams

Are there really just 3 steps to achieving your dreams?  We’re all busy dreaming about how we want to make this year a good one; even a great one. Certainly different from 2016 when the world felt shaky and we had our own issues and of course goals we didn’t achieve.

 Let’s hope we can all have a very different year now. If you have goals – and a goal is just a dream with a deadline – here’s my 3 Step Process to follow that will get you to success.

 zzfootprints

Step 1. Get clear on what you want.

This sounds obvious but I see so many people who don’t really know what they want. The way to discover this is to listen to that inner voice, the one that keeps whispering to you but you push away. You carry on being logical, saying to yourself, “I could never do that’ I’m silly to dream of that, I don’t have the time, I don’t have the money…” You can choose to ignore this longing inside, or you can choose to live a more fulfilled and inspired life.

If you know what your dreams are it’s time to act!

You’re not getting younger – and it’s never too late!

You have the capability to bring these experiences into your life; you just have to trust yourself. You have these dreams because you know deep down that you only have this one life. What are you waiting for? Give yourself permission to create the life you desire.

 Step 2. Decide to do one thing that will move you in the direction of your dream. Your dream might feel just too huge and unattainable right now. That’s good, why dream unless it is a big fat audacious dream?

I know it can feel overwhelming but you can break it down into baby steps that feel more comfortable. For example, your desire might be to write a best seller. So what is the first step you can take? You could join a creative writing group, or start writing a daily journal. There will be other steps, but the first one sets you on your journey.

 Step 3. Get moving!

Think of creating your life in the same way you’d take any journey. First you have to choose the destination. Only then can you work out the route. The next step is to put your foot on the accelerator and start driving! So to reach your dreams you have to focus on your dream and spend time on making them happen. Nothing ever happened from sitting on the sofa. If you really want to do the thing you’ve always wanted to do in 2017, you have to take those action steps.

 Go and get what you need, whether it’s practical help or support. If dreams are going to become reality they need investment, and that can be investment of time, money or effort. This is your one precious life and surely worth making it the best it can be.

 Here’s to 2017 and your amazing success!

Do you need more guidance, help or support in achieving an amazing year?  Does this sound lie something you’d like to explore? Check out my coaching packages here and email me!

 

 

They’ve flown, you’ve an empty nest. Now what?

You’ve heard of the empty nest. All over the world there are mothers sitting on the edge of their child’s bed crying. Perhaps holding a dirty T-shirt and breathing in the smell of the absent teenager. Yes, it’s that time of year when those irritating, noisy, smelly, stroppy youngsters finally leave home and instead of celebrating, their parents are struck down by grief.

 It’s grief for a passing stage in their lives, for a job done, for the shedding of parental responsibility. The house is silent now. There are no shrieks of laughter, no pounding music, no footsteps on the stairs and the slamming of doors.

In contrast the fridge is full. No-one has finished the orange juice, eaten all the cheese or left the bread out. The laundry basket is almost empty, the top’s on the shower gel, the towels are no longer a damp mess on the floor.

 And you hate it. You sit there clutching your stomach, which is cramped, yet hollow, and you sob. The tears stream down your face as you feel the strings cut at last. If your offspring have moved to another part of the world, the pain can be even harder. You know you can’t just jump in the car and have a weekend together.

I remember the pain of the empty nester. First my daughter left and the house changed dramatically. No longer was there another woman there. I could now only feel testosterone in the air; no feminine laughter and giggles, no comparison of period pains, nail colours, or TV heartthrobs.

Empty nest

Then our son left and the hall was tidy, no longer cluttered with trainers which resembled small smelly boats. No more late night meals, big bear hugs, and discussions of rap music.

 Twelve years on and writing this I can feel the deep pain that I felt then when the bedroom doors were closed because I could not bear to look inside and see them empty.

So how do you cope? Like the story of the Bear Hunt, you can’t go over it, you can’t go under it, you have to go through it. And there are ways of coming out the other side.

 First you have to give yourself time and be gentle with yourself. You are grieving. You used to be a full-time mother and now they don’t need you to look after them. You need time to adjust to a new role and you may not even know what this is yet. So don’t berate yourself for feeling sad; allow and honour any feelings that emerge, you haven’t been here before. You may just feel relief! Just like when they were born, there was no instruction book on how to deal with this new stage of parenthood.

 Eventually you will realise that a new you is emerging. You have a different role to play and your own life can begin an exciting new phase. What will you do with it?

This is the perfect time to discover who else you are. Parenthood has changed you for sure, you have different strengths, talents and values to those before motherhood. Do you know what they are?

 What do other people say you’re good at? Are you great at getting people together, organizing committees, mixing cocktails? What do you really love doing? Maybe there’s an activity that you never had time for when you were rushing around running the family. Is there a creative energy you’d love to engage with now?

 Is there something you’d love to learn now that you have more time? You’re probably going to lose the school community too, (no more concerts to attend, no more hanging around the sports field), so you can make new friends in a totally new context. That’s exciting!

 It’s also time to acknowledge both your gifts and your limitations. Is there something you’ve been doing because you’re son or daughter’s parent that you’re now happy to drop? No more pressure to be or do that thing you always hated!

Your role has changed and your identity has therefore changed. Be open to what might evolve and get to know yourself better. Will there be a different you? A change of emphasis? An awakening of a new dream?

 Just as you have stood on the edge of any change before, whether it was becoming a new parent, moving to another country, or starting a new career, this is a transition and you can make it work for you. As an empty nester it’s about reclaiming and recreating your life. This can be a wonderful time if you give yourself space, reflect on who you are now and what you want your life to look like. Your second life is about to begin and you can decide just how it will be.

When you’re ready, you can put away the tissues, plan the next visit, and then step out towards your new wonderful life.

 If you’ve been through this, let me know what changes you made!

Are you suffering from empty nest syndrome and need support? How can I help you? Contact me on the next page.  Let’s get you to the next phase of your life. 

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