We all know that the language we use can our affect our thinking and ultimately our actions. But what about the questions we ask ourselves. If you want to make changes, are you asking the right questions?
I’ve found that most people ask a certain type of question when they want to improve something. I had a client called Claire who had got incredibly frustrated with her business. It had stagnated and she felt stuck.
She asked herself the usual questions. Why can’t I get clients? What am I doing wrong? Why isn’t my business thriving? Why can’t I be as successful as her? She turned these questions over and over in her mind – often in the early hours of the morning.
What am I doing wrong, she implored me, with tears of frustration in her eyes.
We ask ourselves similar questions when we’re struggling to find answers.
Why can’t I lose weight? Why can’t I speak confidently in public? Why do I always attract the wrong people? How come I’m always broke?
Then our inner voice gives us the answers, and they’e usually ones that make us feeling stupid and incapable. They tend to go like this:
- You’re lazy.
- You’re hopeless.
- Nobody wants what you’re offering.
- You’ll shake with nerves.
- You’ll never be wealthy.
These answers always make you feel worse, and they’re certainly not going to inspire you or give you the solution you’re looking for!
So let’s turn it round. Are you asking the right questions? If you were the successful business woman, the slim, vibrant woman who sashayed into parties attracting all the most entertaining people, what questions would you have asked yourself?
To get answers that will get you to where you want to be, you have to ask different questions. Questions like this:
- What needs to happen for me to get more clients?
- How do I get in front of the best people?
- How can I give my body what it needs and not what I want?
- How can I have more fun today?
- What type of people am I excited to meet?
- How can I learn from that past experience?
- How can I create more income?
It’s time to ask different questions.
If you are facing a challenge right now, I suggest you do what Claire did. She wrote out all the negative, energy draining, questions that kept her locked in her whirlpool of despair, and turned them round.
Instead of asking Why can’t I get clients? she asked What can I change in my marketing?
Rather than asking What am I doing wrong? she wondered What have I learnt so far and what can I change now?
She turned Why isn’t my business thriving? into What needs to happen for me to move forward?
Then she started to get the answers she needed, the answers that were fresh ideas and became new plans.
If you want to make a change in your life, try changing your questions.
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