Do you love a good roller-coaster? Why is that? I would take a guess and say it’s because when you’re waiting to set off, you feel really scared! It can be an intense fear, when emotions flood your system.
Life is often like this. We’re ready to do something brave and then the little inner voice starts talking.
“What if you hurt yourself?”
“What if everyone thinks you’re crazy?”
“What if you fail?”
Fear can hold us back and it does, time and time again. Often the fear is so great that we don’t go any further. We turn around and get on with our familiar life. It may even prevent us from EVER trying something new. And that’s a tragedy.
There’s a secret I try with my clients. It’s called reframing. And it works.
There’s a lovely saying that “Fear is the other side of Excitement”. Think again of the roller-coaster. You can reframe that fear and call it enthusiasm or excitement. We’re usually afraid of something we don’t know. So think of fear instead as “Excitement for the unknown”.
When you realise that you can choose whether to feel afraid or excited everything changes.
Think back to when you were a child learning to swim. What if something happened, maybe a daft uncle pushed you in, or kids splashed around and you ended up gulping for air. If you felt as though you were drowning you would understandably equate learning to swim with dying. It would certainly put you off learning to swim for a long time!
We all know the fear would be irrational though. Many are. But they can still send you into a spiral of anxiety, self-doubt and negative thinking. Behaviours can then be established to overcome these feelings, such as over-eating, becoming a workaholic or an alcoholic.
When fear takes over, it actually dictates our behaviour and actions. We make decisions based not on opportunity or potential, but on the fear that holds us back. That’s when we lose our freedom. Our freedom of choice.
Do you have old fears that still show up for you today? Are there old fears about life that hold you back, cause you to make bad decisions and impact the life you’d rather have?
Let me know below and next week I’ll talk about how to crush that fear and build emotional resilience.
Is there a fear holding you back? Something you think may have come from childhood, that you want to say goodbye to forever? Book a call with me and we’ll get it sorted. Click here.